Fri. 10-25-02

Well yesterday we cleaned out half the boat. & now Don says he's missing his medication. & his headphones. Whatever. He wants to dig through the boxes today & find that **** even though he's got enough meds to last him a week! & what the hell does he need his headphones so badly for? It's 7:30 or a little closer to 8:00 & Don's still sleepin' but we're up & ready to work. Last night while I was already layin' down & Don was in the boat watchin' T.V., Brett went in the dumpster & looked through every bag we threw away & he couldn't find the ****. I don't even care! I just wanna' get the work done. After we did all that, we walked to the grocery store (cause my tire's flat) & ate some stuff, then came back, organized some stuff & then walked to Venice Beach. I started freakin' out 'cause I was so exhausted I could've fell asleep if I layed down for a minute. But Brett delt w/me & played sax on the beach & then we layed on the beach together for a while talkin'. After that we walked back (& then, that's when Brett went in the dumpsters-didn't find the ****) & then went to bed. Augustino stopped by earlier yesterday to see if we wanted to go sailin' w/him in his boat, but we were too busy. Today we finish the rest of the boat!

Well I finally freaked out today. I mean, when stuff just gets to be too overwhelming & I can't express my exact feelings, I eventually explode & that's what I did today. In front of Brett, yeah- but Don was there too & that's a good thing! Don tried to tell us we were done today, when we weren't. He was tryin' to tell us we weren't gonna' take anything else off the boat. I told him we were & that I was startin' to get pissed & then eventually it just happened. I stormed off the boat & went along the dock bawling & cussing & sayin' it's all overwhelming & it's all bull**** & his stuff is all garbage & this & that. Then Brett walked w/me up to the bathrooms so I could blow my nose & I came out still cryin'. He thought I needed to go for a walk, but I told him I didn't give a **** that I flipped out, that I wasn't embarrassed & that we could right back down to the boat & Don. I went down there, shouted that it's my ******' boat anyway & we're ******' cleanin' it out. & we did. Don was kinda' quiet for a while & then we all started talkin' to each other about the work & Brett was calmly tryin' to tell this psycho man that it's just work that needs to be done. I mean, he's completely loony! He says, "I know what you guys are tryin' to do- you're tryin' to get it ready for you guys on the 31st." Uh- YEAH! What the hell else do you think we're gonna' do?! I mean, he's just completely illogical & making me go crazy. Then, (this guy is also a compulsive liar) he suddenly tells us he can get a van for half a day & bring all the **** to storage that's sittin' out on the dock in boxes & bags. When before he said he got the van for Monday, because they just didn't have any until then. So the money he says
he doesn't have to be sleeping in a hotel this whole time, he spends on a truck & a new storage space. & he's tryin' to take our sails! I mean, he took 4 already. He says they're for his DINGY! ALL 4 OF THEM! He ain't takin' no more! He's NOT. The only venting Brett gets to do is when we take a break & walk to the store to get food to eat & he repeatedly says things we both already know. But it's alright. At least he stays under control when he needs to.